There are things that sometimes click in my brain, literally, like someone turned on a lightswitch. And this mostly happens in Lenny's sessions, or when I'm reviewing things after Lenny's sessions. And it feels like my mind is rewinding or maybe even relapsing back to previous parts of my life where I learned things, and realize that I'm relearning something that I should have already learned.
Except that I feel like high school was just five-hour-long memorization that didn't mean anything. I've been able to tell the difference between "I've learned this before, but I don't remember what it is, so now I need to relearn it" and "I've learned this before, this is that thing" and it's kind of shocking how much more I've been experiencing the former. I don't know if it's the educational system or if it's me, I'm hoping it's just me now learning how to really learn things so that they mean REAL THINGS to me, so I can quantify or illustrate or just be able to teach someone else what it is that's up. This might make no sense, but it's kind of both empowering and demotivating at the same time. I haven't added a meaning to it yet, so it's just currently this thing sitting on my table. On every table I sit at or near.
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